Admirable

We went down to Dartmouth on Tuesday, May 22 for Scott’s CAT scan. (Special thanks to Susan Schill who drove us because I was too exhausted make the trip myself.) The aggressive chemotherapy Scott was on did not give the results that the doctors wanted to see. They are doing a more broad spectrum chemotherapy on Scott now. Fortunately, it does not require an IV and has less side effects than infusion (IV) therapy. The new therapy is taken in pill form and gets delivered right to the house. Scott will use it for two weeks and be checked again. We just made an appointment for June 12, 2012 at Dartmouth. I hope the ride is not too tough on Scott. He was in a lot of pain Wednesday from Tuesday’s trip.

Scott has not lost any (more) weight in about two weeks now, so I am really glad that we are holding it. He is doing a great job eating, whether he feels like it or not. Today I’m picking up a medication that is supposed to help his appetite a little bit more.

From today for the next 9 days at least, we will have visitors in one form or another of family from both sides of our marriage. We will also see some really good friends. This is a great boost to all of us.

The weather is beautiful and fresh breezes blow through the living room where Scott spends his days. He has a clear view over the mountains and can see any activity outside and visitors as they arrive.

Scott’s tractor has not run for a few years. It is an International 460. John Hodgson, another Waterville legend, came over and finished things on it that Scott was not able to get out there and do. John worked with two of the boys, one of whom who is singularly committed to getting the tractor going (Levi). When the tractor started up, it was like hearing an old friend come to life. Scott could hear it from his windows and he saw John drive it down the driveway and down the road at a blazing speed.

When John was back he said that tractor goes really fast for its type. He also says it is a sound piece of equipment. It went to John’s shop to have a roll bar and seatbelt installed before the boys drive it. As if that wasn’t blessing enough, there is a program going out here where 75% of the cost for the roll bar and seat belt and shipping are all reimbursed. To add to that, our nephew John Gilkeson in New Jersey got the roll bar shipped from Michigan to us for a fractional cost. 99% of tractor rollovers are survived when a roll bar and seatbelt are used. Thank you all for keeping our boys safe.

I just heard that the Pitre Construction team is going to help us get the finish on the new dormer Scott put in with the boys some time ago. We’ve let it go, and a bird is raising children somewhere inside of it. Time to close it in! After the babies fledge, of course.

So today I sit here with all this help, remembering all the previous help and visits and gifts, and knowing about all our visitors coming… if you can go through what we are going through and feel blessed, than you know you are surrounded by some of the most wonderful people in the world.

I have had nights when I go to bed fearful. When I get up in the morning, there is my husband with more energy, drive, hope and vitality than I have. He is an inspiration. To see him do this fight is truly humbling. The only word that comes to mind is admirable. I admire Scott. Saul titled this blog, and I think he and his siblings are seeing strength in their father that they will always remember, whether they realize its value right now or not.  

I hope you all have a blessed Memorial Day weekend. This would be my sister’s 49^th birthday today. In all his stress, Scott had the grace to ask me how I was doing today and to ask me to talk about it. He says my sister was a beautiful sunshine in all of our lives. He is right. He laughed when I told him I know she’s got the door on the other side and won’t let him through. My sister was tiny but she was tough as anything.

God is everywhere and God is God no matter what, and in any situation, He is with us. From the intervention I have seen on Scott’s behalf, many people are seriously praying, and Scott is God’s man. I Praise Him for each and every prayer and effort. Thank you all. 

I asked Scott if he wants a copy of what I wrote today, and he said, "No, I lived it." How's that for an awesome attitude! 

Weak, but Maintaining

I am sorry it has been so long between updates. We had a good week when we went to Dartmouth. Scott’s protein level in his blood test was good, which was a relief to me, because he was/is still losing weight. To see him become so absolutely thin is quite scary for all of us. We are giving him good foods to eat, all day long. Scott’s protein level was good in his blood test, so this shows that despite his thinness, he is not malnourished.

Scott’s white blood cell count was high, and we are glad about that. He is quite certain that the chemotherapy is doing something. He is getting movement through his stomach that he says feels more what a stomach should feel like (which has not felt ‘right’ for him since the fall of 2011). We had a very encouraging sign this week that his body is beginning to remember what to do and how to do it.

We have asked for a hospital bed to give Scott more comfort. It came two days ago and he is very happy with it. He is getting good night’s sleep on it. It is adjustable for his sitting up and for his legs and so that is really great.

Another thing that took so long between updates is a lot of ‘business’ and phone calls I had the first week out of Dartmouth (last series). I also got a proverbial kick in the head when I found out my Thoroughbred has a chronic illness. The vet was here the last day of Scott’s last chemotherapy sessions.

This week, it’s been a lot of the regular work of running a house and a family and livestock/pets along with seeing to everyone's needs, and every one of Scott’s needs that we possibly can. Our mower needed help and a good friend in Waterville, Mark Tourville, helped us get the parts, and then he picked up the mower and put it on his lift at his shop, and put the parts on with the boys. It kind of leaves you speechless, all the goodness and love coming from people.

All six children have been right alongside, helping out. Caleb is my other set of wheels. He says he and his brothers like grocery shopping. Caleb and Levi have been down to Scott’s lab counting and collecting data. They are also packing up Scott’s office for him. Seth has been an anchor at home whom I have to assign time “off” to or he just won’t quit. All the boys have had down time by taking themselves fishing on a lake with a friend’s canoe and a motor they just purchased. They bring youngest brother Noah. (Aislinn and I will make it out there soon.) I have had Aislinn out to spend time with our friends.  

Saul took Scott to an important appointment on his first day home after the semester and finals. They needed to bring a wheelchair.  

Next week is already another Dartmouth week. I have one definite volunteer driver (a gift from heaven above) and another possible driver. I keep saying I am amazed at how much the trips take out of me. I can do it, but it’s through the weekend before I am recuperated.

We have families from New Jersey coming up to see us over Memorial Day weekend. What a wonderful weekend that will be. They are coming Friday, May 25^th, my sister’s birthday. We lost her to a homicide in November, 2006. It is nice that they are coming on that day. She’d have been 49 this year and still beautiful, I’m sure. My sister adopted my Thoroughbred for me post-humus.  

We continue to place ourselves in God’s hands every day, while still doing our best to ensure success. Scott is still able to get himself in and out of bed and walk and move around, so this is a really good thing. If we lose that, it does not mean anything terrible or horrible is happening. I have spoken with a friend whose father went to the brink in this way, while on chemotherapy, and came back again. (He has been cancer-free for seven years now.)

We continue to receive love and good will gifts which never fail to astonish us and bring us to a thankful, hopeful state. Most of all, we are so very thankful for your prayers. Scott has said all along, “We don’t know what God’s Plan is, but He does.”

Right now, Scott is lying down and able to see Caleb mowing the lawn through the windows and it is making him happy.

God Bless us all.